


There's a Song In My Head

by Fablegate



Series: When Plans Fall to Malarkey [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 11:19:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19424905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fablegate/pseuds/Fablegate
Summary: A collection of one shots of Locus living with the Reds and Blues





	1. First Day Back

His first day back from  a  mission was...not what he expected. Which, really, he should have known better by now.

But one thing he did know: 

It could have gone better.

It started early in the morning when the base was as dark as the night sky outside. Locus had been careful not to make too much noise  when landing  A'rynasea as well as when he entered the base.

He  then  walked into a confetti popper going off in his face and him immediately throwing Caboose into a wall. As was his general reaction to very sudden and very loud surprises going off in his face.

But things could only go up from there, right?

Wrong.

Before Locus could ever begin to form an apology, t he dinosaurs and Sarge’s giant robots formed an alliance against the Reds and Blues so the rest of the  night was spent battling them off while Grif and Simmons were trying to revive a concussed Caboose. 

After cleaning up th at mess, everyone just decided to go to bed.

Which Locus had no argument against. 

Except instead of being allowed to go pitch up his tent, Locus found his arm suddenly hooked with Donuts and  was  being excitedly pulled  back into the red side of the base. 

“Donut, please, no more surprises. I would just like to go to bed.” 

“Oh, I know! I’m just showing you to  your room is all!”

“...?” 

“Oh, you’re going to love it! Grif had mentioned it like a week ago, while you were still gone. Then Washington made the suggestion and everyone pitched in a little to help make it. Well, I say make it,  really we just had to move some boxes out of the old storage room...And redo the walls and the floor. I wanted to put in some nice carpet but I knew you’d probably want some nice smooth wood so it was easier to clean .  Of course, the wood we ordered to put in got set on fire so -”

Donut more or less rambled for the time he walked Locus down the hall, past all the reds rooms and to the very end where the door to the storage room was. He should have been prepared to see what he saw when he opened the door, after Donut just told him. But he couldn’t quite believe it until he saw it with his own eyes.

It was.....

Well, it was a mess. 

There was a bed with a suspiciously burned frame, a dresser, and a basket Locus could only assume was for laundry. None of which was placed in the room to make it look like a bedroom. There’s was also just a square of rug (or a bathroom mat?) in the middle of the room. 

“...This is for me?” Was the first thing out of Locus’ mouth.

“Yeah...” Donut replied, as if he were well aware what the ex- merc was thinking. He leaned in close to whisper. “I know it’s not much. But-”

“No.”

“No?” Locus could feel Donut’s gaze on the back of his neck as he stepped into the room.

“I mean, yes, it’s...hideous. But...” He glanced back at the pink  simtrooper . “It’s enough...Thank you Donut.”

Donut smiled from under his helmet before grabbing the door handle. “Goodnight, Sam.” 

“Good night.” 

Locus waited for the door to close before he would turn back to the room.  First he was going to get out of this armor then getting ready for bed.

He’d save reorganizing this hodgepodge for the morning.

For now, he was home.


	2. Memes

"Hey, Sammy, lend me your ear for a sec." Locus looked up from his mug and datapad . U p at the earbud now being held up to his face.

"..." Locus squinted, pulling his signature bulldog frown. 

"Oh, don't make that face!" Donut grinned from behind his perfectly manicured nails. Locus noticed the other earbud still in the  simtroopers non-scarred ear. "You don't even have to stop reading, just lemme put this in your ear."

Locus breathed out through his nose and turned back to his  datapad . Donut giggled before putting the earbud into the ex- merc's ear. Locus did his best to focus back on reading but...

"...What is this?" Locus looked at Donut who was still smiling.

"You like it?" Donut asked.

" I t's not unpleasant. But what is it?"

"It's a song  from a meme that's been going around on Basebook! I thought it was really catchy. Took me forever to find it though. The lyrics are pretty generic when you search them online-"

"Wait, meme? What is that?"  He doesn't ask about  Basebook though. L et's ignore that Locus  already knows  what  Basebook is. That can be credited to Simmons when he  convinced the ex- merc to hand over his phone for five minutes. Thank you, Simmons. Because a war criminal, who is supposed to be dead, would need a  Basebook account. 

"Oh, Sammy, honey we have much to discuss."

_________

After a most unnecessary lesson about meme culture from Donut, a lesson which made Locus actually appreciated his secluded childhood,  Locus made use of his time afterward avoiding the internet.

And by avoiding he was actually scrolling through  simmons search images of memes. 

There was...a  lot of them it would seem.

After some scrolling through his  datapad a  basebook message popped up on his screen.

_ Richard Simmons: Donut just told me he gave you a lesson in memes. I think it's time. _

_ Locus Pocus: Time for what? _

_ Richard Simmons sent an image _

Locus stared at the screen. He didn't even get a chance to respond before he rec ei ved another message.

_Richard Simmons: I'm so sorry. Blame Donut_ _._ _N_ _ot me. I never would have shared it i_ _f_ _he didn't tell you about memes._

_ Locus Pocus: Calm down, Simmons. _

_ Richard Simmons: You're not mad? _

_ Locus Pocus: No. _

_ Locus Pocus: Send me more. _

A few minutes later Donut heard his phone beep with a new message. He'd been lounging on the couch because, while he certainly wasn't Grif, one doesn't pass up the chance of getting the couch for themselves when they find the red base couch empty. Especially when it's the red base couch.

Donut picked up his phone and the screen lit up with a message from Locus. Huh. Wonder what it-

Grif , who was in the kitchen, suddenly could hear a wheezing laughter. But he's lazy and doesn't bother to investigate. He sees a message pop on his  datapad and opens it as he's taken a sip of smoothie.

It promptly gets spit out as the orange  simtrooper nearly chokes while laughing as he's just been sent a Locus meme.  \----------

" ¿Estás  tarareando ?" ( _ Are you humming?) _

Locus looked up from his arm maintenance and at Lopez who was fixing the warthog(again).

"What? No."

" Estoy bastante seguro de que estabas." ( _I'm pretty sure you were_ )


	3. Hands Like Grappling Hooks

“Help me.” Locus pleaded.

“Nah.” Washington laughed.

“Lavernius, please stop taking pictures.” Locus pleaded again.

“Not a chance.” Tucker snapped another photo. 

It started with Donut jumping him and hanging from his neck. Locus had become more accustomed to this then he ever would have meant to. What probably helped with that was that every time Donut would jump Locus, he'd give fair warning so the ex- merc's first instinct weren't to snap the smaller man's neck. 

Next up of course was Caboose. Because the moment Caboose sees Donut hugging Locus, he immediately thinks it’s okay to join in. His way of joining in however came in the form of a tackle hug. Which Locus has trained himself to brace  for. But today was a slow day.

At least the floor had just been cleaned. Thank you, Simmons, for being a neat freak. 

Then Grif decided to join in after seeing the small pile on the floor. Even though. Locus  _ clearly _ .  _ Protested _ . While Caboose and Donut were busy still hugging Locus and laughing , the orange  simtrooper just sat down and rested against them before going back to eating his chips.

And then Simmons would walk in, see them, make a face that suggested he was screaming inside his head, before joining in as well. 

Little by little more people came in and little by little more people joined the pile in some way. Even Lopez.  Kaikana thought for a moment that they were having an orgy and almost stripped if it weren’t for Grif screaming. Carolina decided the pile was a good place to read her book. 

Locus gave up on complaining when Doc and Sarge joined in. 

This had to be the second worst situation Locus has ever been in.

And the n Washington walked in and laughed while Tucker started taking pictures.


End file.
